More Than Sleep
The Why Behind More Than Sleep
It’s been a humbling week…
One where I’ve learned and grown, and had many successful little (and big) clients but it was also a lot for me. It was eye-opening in a way that brought me back to some of my own darker moments – the time when I was suffering from post-partum depression (PPD).
And I thought it would be good to share what’s been going on, to journal on the experience to give you a sneak peek at how much the sleep consulting industry can evolve, and how much it is evolving for those of us here at Have Baby. Must Sleep.
When I first started working in the children’s sleep industry more than three years ago I was focused on getting clients results and supporting families as best I could. Success was measured only by a sleeping baby or a child, one who went to bed quickly and easily for their parents. If that happened, I considered it a win!
My team and I work tirelessly to provide specific recommendations through an initial evaluation, daily (often multiple times) log reviews and by being very accessible to the families who choose us to help them on their sleep journey. Providing excellent service doing work I am passionate about is the easy part for me, but what I am learning more and more is that having their baby sleep is just a part of what these families really need from us. Because there are more struggles during the post-partum period than just lack of sleep.
And this is where the ideas for the More Than Sleep program came from. It first came to me two years ago after Laura Reisman was my client. Laura is a Registered Social Worker and leading Perinatal Mental Health Therapist specializing in counselling women and families. We both knew that there was an opportunity to do even more for the people we served and that if we did it together, that was where the best service would come from; get the parents and children sleeping but also help them navigate other concerns that so many of us have during this time.
I learned quickly that not wanting to hear their child cry wasn’t really the biggest concern. I mean, no one ever wants to hear their child upset but it is rarely the biggest reason that parents struggle with sleep training. Laura and Sarah, our two RSWs and Perinatal Mental Health Therapists have taught myself and the team so much already and have helped so many families along the way.
For starters, the ability to do the work required for sleep training and fully commit starts with families whose needs are being met and who feel their concerns are being heard. It’s not just about the sleepless nights but also about how they are really FEELING.
Going into this process wanting a positive outcome is natural for most of our families but what isn’t as easy is going into the process feeling calm. Emotions are often running high and stress can make it hard to navigate the first few days, which in turn means the parent finds it difficult to offer the comfort and support their child’s needs when we first embark on this journey.
And these feelings can start way before the sleep training even begins. It can begin as early as conception (and maybe their challenges), then pregnancy, delivery and how they are feeling postpartum and in their new roles as parents and to be honest, how they feel as partners.
It’s a lot to unpack and every day that I connect with these amazing humans on my team, I’m learning and growing and stumbling and being humbled but they support me as much as they support our families.
In the last few weeks, I have had families struggling with:
Wanting to sleep train but feeling super guilty because they suffered so many losses prior to conceiving through IVF and it took many rounds of IVF to conceive their gorgeous girl.
Their in-laws making them feel guilty for wanting more and better sleep.
Feeling alone in the process even though their partner also complained about how terrible sleep is.
Postpartum psychosis and depression; these things are hormonal in nature but lack of sleep can make these big feelings so much harder to navigate.
Parental preference. One child just favoured Dad so much and it was impacting Mom wanting to even try as she didn’t want to have her child distance herself more.
A child with a complex genetic issue and the parents were fully tapped out from night wakings and a baby up before 5 AM each and every day.
As you can see, there is so much more here than what is the right sleep training method, an age-appropriate schedule and finding the optimal wake window. Our families come to us for the More Than Sleep program because they either know they need more support, or they want to access their benefits. In fact, twice this week alone I was told that even though benefit utilization was why the parents chose the More Than Sleep program, in the end, they didn’t feel like they could have gone through the process without that additional level of support from Laura or Sarah. And guess what? Neither could I. But regardless of how you arrive at the decision, it will be the right one for you.
Getting support on your postpartum journey can help you strike a better balance between your life as a parent and all the other roles you have. We’ve seen the results first-hand and we can help you get them too. This comprehensive, completely customized experience allows for a more fluid system of deep-level support. Together we’ll work with each other and with you to address all of the concerns you have and lead you through the postpartum period with a plan so that you can get a full night’s sleep and wake up in the morning and find joy and purpose in your day. To care for your family AND for yourself. It’s possible even if you don’t feel that way at the moment.
If you’re ready for this level of support or just want to chat with us, we’d love to help you. Get in touch with us to speak to a team member any time.
Client Testimonial / Nawwal Emritte
Let me start by saying this past week I slept 8 hour straight after more than a year. My son had not slept through the night even once since he was born. After just 3 weeks of sleep training, he wakes up for a couple of minutes only per night and goes to sleep on his own every time. Sometimes he sleeps 10 hour straight without peep. This was life changing to say the least. And I know I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Andria‘s support. She was a God sent and helped train my 12 months old while he was going through a regression. Tried on my own twice before seeking help. There’s a lot of free information online but none of that give you the confidence and boost needed to carry through. Andria did exactly that with zero judgement and lots of patience. Is the process perfect? No. Nothing is and you’re dealing with a tiny human being, not a robot. But is it worth it and will you see significant changes rapidly? Absolutely. I can now watch TV and relax before bedtime. Something unheard of just a few weeks ago. I would have to try and sleep quickly as soon as my son went to bed so I could have some energy before he woke up again. He would wake up 3-4 times a night and have to be rocked or fed back to sleep. I spent countless sleepless nights reading testimonies from parents who sleep trained their babies and never thought I would be one of them. And for this, I cannot thank Andria enough. I want to also mention Laura who is an amazing social worker who helped me navigate the guilt and other mixed emotions associated with the whole process. Overall, my experience with Have Baby Must Sleep was exceptional!
Client Testimonial / Marley Cooper
Andria is definitely a sleep whisperer. She has the ability to help solve even the most complicated of sleep struggles, which was the case when working with me and my 7 month old. We saw results almost instantly and were left with a sleep structure that will hopefully lay the foundation for years to come. I highly recommend working with Andria, and specifically recommend the "more than sleep package". Sarah was a huge source of support for me and my family! I only wish I knew about this when I first tried to tackle sleep training on my own. If you are struggling with the decision to hire "Have Baby. Must Sleep"- take the plunge!