Sleep Props

Should they stay or should they go?

When I was pregnant, someone gifted me a book that promised me 12 hours of sleep in 12 weeks. As a type-A advertising exec, this was right up my alley!

In my career, if I performed a certain series of events, I would almost always get to the desired outcome. So why would this be any different? I could just apply these same principles with my baby, right? Oh, was I in for a rude awakening!

The book was focused on schedules, feeding and no sleep props. No problem, I could do that. Armed with my plan I set out to follow the book to the letter.

And I tried. I mean I really tried. But Lennox was born, and he was having none of my carefully laid-out plans.

Instead, what I got was intense anxiety and dread. I felt like a failure and found myself feeling hopeless and dreading each nap and every night. Even when the day went just like the book told me, he would wake two, three sometimes four times a night!

It wasn’t working and I needed the help of sleep props to get him back to sleep. In Lennox’s case it was walking him around the room with his pacifier.

So that book went straight into the garbage and that’s when I decided Google and I were going to become new BFFs.

I would Google my sleep questions every day and all through the night searching for any magic solution to get more, better, longer sleep. And soon, a pretty toxic friendship had formed.

My history looked like this…

“Are pacifiers bad?”

“Can you sleep train a 3-week-old?”

“What’s the best swaddle?”

“Can my child sleep in a swing?”

“If naps are short, will my night be terrible?”

“Why is he such a noisy sleeper?”

“Why are pacifiers bad?”

“What’s the best pacifier””

“What pacifier won’t fall out?”

“What is drowsy but awake?”

“Seriously, WTF is drowsy but awake?”

“Does newborn life get better?”

We have all done our fair share of Googling and by now I’m sure you’re wondering what sleep props are and if it’s ok to use them.

The answer is yes…but also no.

Perfect. Another vague answer.

Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging like Google did to me. I’ll elaborate!

Newborn Sleep 101

When babies are born, they have no concept of whether it’s night or day. They have grown accustomed to 24 hour a day darkness and have been cuddled, fed and kept warm in your womb for longer than you care to remember (at times).

When we finally get to meet our amazing new people, they have no skills and they depend on us exclusively to have their needs met.

We feed them frequently, burp them, ensure they are in dry diapers and work sometimes feverishly to get them to sleep (and stay asleep).

It’s completely expected that a baby is going to need our support as they navigate all their firsts as they experience life outside of the womb.

Sleep becomes a really big focus for new parents as our sleepy newborns soon wake up and need our support to go to sleep and return to sleep and we try EVERYTHING to help so we can all get more sleep, which is usually where sleep props come in.

Sleep Props

Sleep props are things we use to help our children sleep and sleep associations are created when we use them, as our children begin to associate sleep with these sleep props.

Sleep props aren’t bad and are often essential in those first few months, however as a baby gets closer to four to five months old, they often stop responding as well to the sleep props you’ve been using. That’s when sleep props need to be looked at and either phased out gradually or removed completely to encourage independent sleep.

Sleep props include:

Pacifiers
Nursing
Bottles
Motion like rocking, walking and bouncing
Anything your baby relies on to fall asleep

Sleep Tools

Before I continue, I want to make sure there isn’t any confusion between sleep props and sleep tools. Where sleep props help our children fall sleep, sleep tools create an optimal environment to support sleep.

Sleep tools include:

A pitch-black room
A room with a cooler temperature (20-22 Celsius OR 68-72 Fahrenheit)
Sound machine
Lovey (this is for older babies)

How to Remove Sleep Props

Ok so now that we’ve established that sleep tools are things we want to establish and sleep props are things we’d like to slowly eliminate, here are some tips to help you with this process:

Implement a bedtime and nap routine to ensure your baby is being primed and is aware that sleep is coming. A great bedtime routine is around 30 minutes, and a nap routine can be done in about five minutes.
Use sleep tools to set up an optimal sleep environment.
Follow age-appropriate wake windows.
Ensure your baby is taking the right number of naps.
Some babies will allow you to slowly phase out sleep props which means you can use a pacifier or other prop until they start getting sleepy then take away the prop a bit earlier in the process each night.

Sleep props can be removed when you are ready but often come with some protest from your little one and that’s where having a sleep plan can be helpful. When we work on new habits with our children, it’s expected that they will express their upset around the change and having a plan in place to manage this upset is where we can support you.

Whether you work with us or do it independently, make sure you are consistent with your decision. Consistency is key and means quicker results and less confusion and tears for your baby.

Author: Andria Gordon

Andria Gordon is the Owner and Founder of child sleep consulting agency Have Baby. Must Sleep., a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant who has helped over 400 families get sleeping again, as well as a frequent speaker and presenter to parent groups and daycares/preschools. Andria is the co-founder of a Children’s Sleep and Medical Conditions certification course for sleep consultants, is a member of various professional associations and has been featured on Global News in Canada. As a former senior ad executive Andria knows what it means to provide exceptional, high-touch client care and service. You can find her on Instagram @andriasleep.

Company:

Have Baby. Must Sleep. is a leading pediatric sleep consultancy serving parents with babies and children ages 0 to 5 years old. They specialize in providing a high-touch, completely customized sleep coaching experience centred around each individual family and their lifestyle. The team is composed of moms who have experienced their fair share of sleepless nights while trying to balance work and life, and that’s why they’ve come together to help other tired parents get the rest they need and deserve. As Pediatric Sleep Consultants who have worked with 800+ families, sleep is what they do, it is their expertise and sole focus. You can find out more at www.havebabymustsleep.com.