Night Weaning and Sleep Training

Are they the same thing?

I’m going to answer this fast and let you know that it’s a hard NO.

When I had my first and even second child, I truly believed that in order to sleep train, a baby needed to sleep through the night until after 6:00 a.m. without a single feed because that’s what Facebook groups, other moms and consultants told me. Yep, I used sleep consultants too (YES, plural). I had big babies; they were born around 9 pounds and stayed on their curve so once they were ready to learn independent sleep skills, they were well over 16 pounds.

This is now pretty-outdated advice IMO.

So, let’s start with the right information so you can make more informed decisions starting today!

*CAVEAT: I’m not a feeding expert so please don’t take this as prescriptive feeding advice. That should always come from your pediatrician and/or lactation consultant.

What is defined as sleeping through the night?

Sleeping through the night is when your baby sleeps a stretch of six to eight hours before a feed is needed. Every baby is different and if your baby has been struggling to gain weight, they may need more than a single feed in a night so for them, a feed every four to five hours might be best.

When can we expect a baby to sleep through the night?

Usually, babies who are full-term and healthy can often achieve this from four months of age onwards. Remember, this is the six to eight hour stretch we just talked about, not the ten to twelve hours that we will get once the baby is a bit older.

Is it true that you can drop a feed once a baby hits a certain weight?

There are a lot of people who make night weaning decisions based on weight.

After having worked with hundreds of babies, I no longer believe keeping night feeds should be decided based on a single factor, like the weight of a baby.

Though a baby's growth curve isn’t the sole determinant of health, staying on their curve is one of the indicators that is used to ensure your baby’s growth is on track. In order to stay on their curve, they need a certain number of calories. If they aren’t getting those calories during the day (and no, that doesn’t mean feed them more, babies are usually intuitive eaters), then they will look for those calories at night.

I have worked with plenty of young babies who were low on their percentiles but were eating so many daytime calories that they naturally dropped their feeds. Conversely, I have worked with many babies who were eating amazing during the day, were nearing 20 pounds in weight, but they still needed that feed to get through the night. Every single baby is different; there is no one size fits all here.

How can I work on better daytime feeding?

Great feeds come with time and practice. Establishing feeding is the most important aspect and then, as they get older and less sleepy, you can work on getting some better and fuller feeds during the day.

Here are some tips for more alert and engaged feeds:

Try to feed when your baby is most alert. This is usually soon after they wake from sleep. A fully awake baby means they have enough energy to devote to feeding well.
Worry less about a strict feeding schedule and focus on feeding when they rise and topping up as needed. If you try to balance a sleep schedule with an eating schedule, you will be stressed to the max!
When you feed at other times, keep your little one awake while eating to maximize the feed (easier as babies get older, often futile when you’re dealing with a newborn).
If you have a sleepy baby, try feeding them near a window or somewhere with lots of natural light. Feed them in their diaper or tickle behind their ear or under their feet to perk them up.
If your baby is bottle fed, make sure the nipple flow is age appropriate; if they are struggling to get the milk out, they can grow tired quickly and not feed as well as you hoped.

How do I know if my baby has a feed-to-sleep association?

If you notice your baby is snacking (versus taking full feeds) and is waking every couple of hours at night, then you might have a baby who has a feed-to-sleep association OR you might have a baby who just isn’t taking in enough calories during the day.

Some babies fall into a snacking pattern and others use feeding to sleep which in turn can encourage snacking/frequent feeds as they are too tired to take a full feed prior to sleep.

I’m ready to sleep train. Should I drop the feed?

When we work with babies at four to six months of age, we always recommend keeping one or two night feeds. If a baby needs that feed, it is quite clear; they wake, have a great feed then return to sleep for the balance of the night or until the next feed.

If, however a baby wakes multiple times a night for multiple feeds it might mean they require them or, if they are over four months old, it might mean they are now using those night feeds as help to return to sleep and that’s when we discuss delaying gratification and giving them an opportunity to fall back to sleep before intervening with a feed. This doesn’t mean letting them cry but instead means we delay our overall response and look to replace the feed with other soothing.

How will I know when to drop the feed?

Some babies drop it easily and quickly, others hold onto their feeds for quite a while. There is no rush to drop it until previously great night sleep is deteriorating. Consider these items first then look to remove the night feed:

Is it time to adjust my child’s wake window?
Is it time to remove a nap?
Are they getting too much day sleep?

What happens if I want to drop the feed?

You can always try and apply your sleep training method when your baby wakes in the night, however if your baby is waking and isn’t settling for an extended period of time or you get stuck in an early rising pattern (waking before 6:00 a.m.), then a feed MIGHT be your answer. If those wakes aren’t resolving after a few days of implementing your plan, then they likely need that feed.

Should I chat with my pediatrician before dropping a feed

ALWAYS. Your doctor is responsible for monitoring your baby and ensuring they are meeting their health and developmental milestones.

Though there are many doctors who will say it’s fine and our advice may say otherwise; at that point we let the baby show us what they need. Trust me when I tell you, it’s better to keep a feed and have a baby waking closer to 7:00 a.m. then removing it prematurely and having a baby who wakes at 5:00 a.m. for the day but then can’t make it to their morning nap because they are wiped!

As you can see, dropping a night feed isn’t an easy decision and though some babies will drop it on their own, many need a little help in doing so. If you have tried some of these methods and are still unsure on what to do, we would love to support you. You are always welcome to book a free discovery chat with our team to talk further about how we can help.

Author: Andria Gordon

Andria Gordon is the Owner and Founder of child sleep consulting agency Have Baby. Must Sleep., a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant who has helped over 400 families get sleeping again, as well as a frequent speaker and presenter to parent groups and daycares/preschools. Andria is the co-founder of a Children’s Sleep and Medical Conditions certification course for sleep consultants, is a member of various professional associations and has been featured on Global News in Canada. As a former senior ad executive Andria knows what it means to provide exceptional, high-touch client care and service. You can find her on Instagram @andriasleep.

Company:

Have Baby. Must Sleep. is a leading pediatric sleep consultancy serving parents with babies and children ages 0 to 5 years old. They specialize in providing a high-touch, completely customized sleep coaching experience centred around each individual family and their lifestyle. The team is composed of moms who have experienced their fair share of sleepless nights while trying to balance work and life, and that’s why they’ve come together to help other tired parents get the rest they need and deserve. As Pediatric Sleep Consultants who have worked with 800+ families, sleep is what they do, it is their expertise and sole focus. You can find out more at www.havebabymustsleep.com.